Ewen: it is a nice thought about the shorts and CR singlet, but it was too cold for that. I was actually in my full winter kit, gloves, beanie, long tights, and two long sleeved running tops. I found that zero degrees in NY at midday is not quite the same as a zero in Canberra, given the artic wind that works its way through the Manhatten jungle.
Tess: interesting you should ask about the push-ups. Rocky didn't do push-ups on the steps in Rocky I (or di
d he do them in the sequels, which I didn't see?) but there was a guy (at left) doing them on the steps on the day I visited the Philadelphia Museum of Art. I didn't do them myself.Eddie: no I didn't see the G'day Australia thing but I did see Bindi Irwin on US television regularly. Our ABC says Bindi charmed the US and that is no exaggeration. I was asked about her and her father several times.
Vicky, Jorex, Strewth, Cirque and Rachel: thank you for the lovely things you wrote. I strongly recommend you get a chance to visit Ground Zero if
you already haven't done so. I am including another photo from the 911 tribute center of a window from one of the planes that crashed into the towers.******
Now for my running delimma. For the last few months I have debated whether to run the Canberra or Boston Marathons this year, after I ran a qaulifying time for Boston at last year's Canberra Marathon. Both marathons are run coincidentally on the same weekend this year, (Canberra 15 April, Boston 16 April).
I had seriously considered doing Boston, turning it into a super doopa family holiday at the same time. We had discussed this in the family but I had pretty much given the idea away due to the expense. I thought maybe I would leave Boston to the future when we are in a better financial position. And it wasn't that long ago that we did have a great five week family holiday in the US in 2005. So I thought no Boston marathon for TD this year...
...that is until my wife, Mrs TD, came completely out of the blue as we were driving home from work last week and said why don't I go solo to the US and run Boston. She says she knows how much running means to me and how much running Boston means to me. I wasn't quite sure I was hearing her right and I had just picked her up from her after work drinks! But she went on that she really wanted me to go without her and the family and just do what I had always wanted to do. Me going solo is something we can afford. Well, is this manna from heaven or what?
I've checked out www.bostonmarathon.org, have submitted an online application, and paid the US$150 fee. My training continues and I am fit and injury free. But Houston, we have a problem! - I've got a real bad attack of the guilts. I feel that I being too self indulgent, trying to fulfill a long-held personal whim. I feel that I am greedily putting me first and family second, for some silly race on the other side of the world.
Yet, this is B-O-S-T-O-N! It's one of the most prestigious and oldest marathons in the world; a race that I have dreamed of running for over 20 years. And with my Canberra time of 3.16 I have easily met the 3.30 qualifying time. Qualifying is something not everyone can do and there is no guarantee I can repeat it in the future. What should I do?
Woody Allen said he wasn't afraid of dying; he just didn't want to be there when it happened. I'm not afraid of dying either; I am just not sure I want to be there without running Boston!
24 comments:
Don, If it was my hubby giving me the opportunity to run a Marathon that I've wanted to do for 20 years then I'd grab that opportunity while it still lasts.
Your wife sounds like a wonderful woman who totally understands your love of running. You are a lucky man!
Maybe you can do something for your wife that will show your appreciation....?
Sounds like a great opportunity, however I do understand your predicament. I would probably feel the same way.
Whatever you decide I'm sure it will be the right decision :-)
Don go with Mrs. TD's blessing. You may otherwise regret the missed opportunity. If you don't go the last person you will be able to turn to for sympathy is Mrs. TD.
Don,It's been ages since i have surfed blogland so i am glad i chose to surf to your blog first!
I can tell from our correspondance that your a family man and understand the dilemna of juggling running family and work commitments.
But you know what?This may be a once in a lifetime opportunity!It may be a whim but it is a longheld whim and it seems in the circumstances your wife understands what it will mean to you.
GO! Do it!
You know full well that when you return the pressures of life will return but you will be somehow a better man to face them with this experience behind you!
I wish i were you right now!
Wishing you the wisest of decisions.
R2B
I'm looking at Boston 2008 after I qualify at Canberra this year. Just do it if the family thinks it is ok. I was in NY in Jan 2002 and had a look at Ground Zero back then. Very eery at the time.
Don Don Don.....
My husband puts me in a similar situation often. I have come to the conclusion that it is okay to be selfish every once in a while. It actually makes me more focussed on the family and ensures that I put the time back into them with quality activities to make up for any time I spend on myself and my running.
It is a win-win situation. My family know how much of a better person I am from running - physically and mentally. They also get to be proud of my achievements and participate themselves where they can/choose.
When it is their turn, they get my full and devoted attention and support in whatever activity they choose to undertake. Hence I have been recently to Wet N Wild, SpeedWay, Cricket and even giving driving lessons. It all comes down to being in a give-give relationship and it sounds like you have a good one as well.
Don't feel guilty - or you won't enjoy it. Before you go, make sure you let the family know how important this is for you and how much you need their support to help you through the training as well as the race itself. They may not be there with you but you will no doubt be thinking of them along the way.
Take some time out to do some things with them that you usually wouldn't do. This may mean doing your long run during the week or on a different morning.
You have your wife's blessing, now go and train hard so you can make her proud. Imagine if you wasted the opportunity as well as your money!! :)
Oh and as a wife speaking maybe arrange for a card or flowers to arrive after you have left to thank her for supporting you and being there for you. A reminder that without her you wouldn't be abel to do this. My hubby did that for me one year when he went on a fishing trip and it blew me away. I still remember it and each year I urge him to go away with the boys again!!!
Hey TD
If you wanted people to give you both sides of the arguement you came to the wrong forum.
Us runners are basically a selfish lot and will run given any chance.
And Boston with your wife's blessing is surely too good to turn down.
By the way if my missus said I could go alone it would mean one thing only. Not that she understood my love of running but that she had found a boyfriend.
Go, enjoy but save a little money to pay the private detective we you get home.
Don, this is truly a terrible dilemma. One I understand only too well -- I often feel guilty for putting my resources (time, money) into running instead of the family.
I think that sometimes sacrifices have to be made. We simply can't always have and do what we want. We always fall victim to the instant gratification age. Our parents' generation really understood the meaning of sacrifice. They couldn't just have whatever they wanted wheneve they wanted it. And did they complain about it? No! So I think There is but one decision here, show your family how much they mean to you by foregoing this opportunity. You should stay at home and brood over Boston in stoic silence. Perhaps forever.
Now, if you think I really meant any of that, you would believe anything. Of course you should go, you silly sod!! Clairie is 100% correct as usual.
You should do it Don. Sounds like a great opportunity, and you have the 'all clear' from the family. I don't think it's indulgent at all. You're saving money by going alone.
I know a runner who has done the St George Marathon in the US numerous times (it's a fast downhill course) - he used to just fly there for the weekend!
Now... you only have the pressure of running a good Boston (or at least finishing).
:)
Don, no doubt it's a tough decision, but everything seems to be indicating you should run Boston this year...you’ve wanted to do it for so long, you have the qualifier, and out of the blue your wife has voluntarily given you the ok to do it after you wrote it off for the year. You should fulfil your once in a lifetime dream while you have the opportunity.
Then when it’s time for a family holiday you can plan a trip that you all want to do and focus more on your family than on an upcoming marathon and the recovery, so everyone wins in the long run.
Good luck with your final decision and with your training as always.
PS. Great to read about your USA trip as well!
After a weekend away I was so far behind in my blog reading. Working my way through and getting to yours was worth the wait.
WOW!!!! What a wonderful gift from your wife actually bringing up the subject out of the blue. You're a lucky man :-)
Do not feel guilty. Hell, that's why we work isn't it, to live. Not the other way around. Whenever I drag my butt into work on a nightshift I remind myself that its so worth it as I can use the $$ to do something fun like travel away for a race.
Do it!
I d say make the most of it. You'll look backon this and cherish the memories. There are also lots of ooportunities for family emmeories but tisone is for you. Especially asMrs TD said 'go' - so go for it!!!
And thanks for the wonderful comments you always leave on my blog - it really does help after doing a hard run, or after a hard week, to come back and read your uplifting comments. Thank you!!!
Wow Don! You have a bit of a predicament don't you!??!
I can understand your reservations and guilt as a parent (and for you, as a husband as well.)
I can understand your excitment and passion as a runner too.
At the end of the day, only you can make the decision. The fact that you have the blessing of your wife and family is a huge factor. On top of that you have qualified - something most will never do. It really is a fantastic opportunity. None of us know whats round the corner Don, life is too short for wondering and who knows if this opportunity will be so within your reach ever again...
Whenever I have a hard decision to make, I do a pro vs cons list. I get the feeling your list would be rather one-sided, but regardless it has to be one you can live with...
Best of luck with it Don, in the mean time, train like a demon!
Cheers, MAR.
I don't think you are being self-indulgent. Go for it.
I'm back for a second bite to say...
...that the feeling of guilt is only natural. But that's all it is. A feeling. But what is there of real substance to back it up? Your wife and family are right behind you. It's a life-long dream. You can afford it. The same alignment of factors may never happen again...what decision is there to make?
I'm already looking forward to reading the Boston report. And you can say g'day to some friends of mine who'll be there.
Wow TD.
Once again we're in parallel universes.
Will discuss in more depth by email but I understand exactly what you're going through!
That said, please go because it makes my decision easier - LOL :)
Don,
My message won't be anywhere near as profound as that of others who have posted.
All I have to say is that sometimes people who spend so much of their time giving to others (especially their family), such as yourself, often feel the guilt you're talking about when it comes to doing something for themselves.
Yet it's these people who most deserve the opportunity to follow a dream like your suggesting here.
Go for it!
I guarantee you will receive nothing but support from what I can only presume is an extremely grateful family and a mad bunch of running-nuts!
What a fabulous opportunity and what a lovely understanding wife - just do it! You have qualified, you have Mrs TD's blessing and now all you have to do is train! Just make sure you bring her back something beautiful and exciting from Boston and a great big hug! Oh and make sure you take heaps of photos so that Mrs TD (and all of us) can live the experience with you!
I've been procrastinating about replying enthusiastically for days now - Don, you have to do Boston!
Life presents opportunities, and one can never predict what is around the corner.
From my experience with Bob's running and triathlon travels it is important for me too that he has the chance to follow a dream when it is reasonable to do so.
If fit and healthy, do it for your family in 2007. Mrs Don and the donnettes gain something from your satisfaction as well.
Don! No question - Boston it is!
I shed many a tear at Ground Zero - I can still see it as clearly as if I was there.
Boston of Course.
And have a great race, soak it all in, and you'll remember it the rest of your days.
Agh! Sorry to be the last of people to respond to this--you should DEFINITELY GO! I can understand your worrying that it's "too selfish" but if you don't go, you'll always regret it. Your loving wife is behind you, even if she doesn't run herself (fantastic idea about the flowers, or some surprise btw). Go and have a great experience, bring back lots of photos and stories, and we will all read it enviously. Seize the day!!
I expectantly await your decision. :)
You've gotta go Don. As you said yourself, you have the qualifier, you have entered the race and your wife wants you to go. Don't let the guilts hold you back. Go and live your dream. You may never get another chance.
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